


Things you said with no space between us

by caycep



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, Balcony Scene, Christmas Party, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Office Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 16:37:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10857903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caycep/pseuds/caycep
Summary: It's CatCo's annual Winter Gala, and Kara is hoping a certain someone will make an appearance. Set during season two.





	Things you said with no space between us

**Author's Note:**

  * For [fictorium](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fictorium/gifts).



> Tumblr prompt for: "Things you said with no space between us". 
> 
> Angst provided by the brilliant Red House Painters' Katy Song: https://open.spotify.com/track/7B8d3I2cghnB5fjm0bmvqa

Kara woke from her trance as the cab pulled into the parking lot, startled by the loud crunching sound of tires on gravel. She glanced outside the car window, where an elegant sixties-style building was coming into view. The car approached, grinding to a slow, staggering halt in front of the nearby entrance.

The venue was all glass panes and soft curves, alternated with blinding white concrete, austere but majestic. Her eyes darted to the round balconies on the first and second floor - balconies being one of those architectural features that instantly drew her attention. She wondered whether she’d have a chance to step onto one tonight, rest her elbows on the railing, smell the wind.

Two security guards stood on either side of the entrance, wearing identical grey suits. The one closest to her extended a hand, a small courteous smile, and collected the invitation from her hand. _CatCo Worldwide Media Winter Gala_ , it read in golden calligraphy, _Kara Danvers, Reporter_.

She was escorted to a room bustling with people, the chatter audible from the corridor leading to it. Guests were standing around in groups of three or four, tight in conversations that didn’t concern her. She tried scanning around for familiar faces but found that none of her friends had made it yet.

Kara decided to head for the bar, pick up a flute of champagne, in an attempt to distract herself from the question that had been keeping her tense all day: _Will Cat be here?_ She promised herself she would not truly hope for it, but, as unlikely as it sounded, Kara couldn’t quite shake the possibility that Cat would make an appearance.

Lights flickered, and James’s clear, booming voice filled the room. “Thank you all for coming here tonight” Kara, along with everyone else around her, turned towards him as he waited a few seconds for the noise to die down. He was standing on the podium at the back of the room, smiling at the audience. In his impeccable suit and affable manners, Kara almost didn’t recognise him. “It is my pleasure to welcome you to CatCo’s annual Winter Gala. In this festive occasion, I’d like to extend my gratitude to all of you for another year of hard work and dedication. As we look back at the past months, there are countless accomplishments we can…” at that, her attention stumbled and fell elsewhere.

It occurred to Kara, that _this_ , standing among a crowd of strangers, felt like somebody else’s life. Some alternate universe where things had gone horribly wrong, a cruel joke she was witness to, a clairvoyance, a warning perhaps, but not real, not _her own life_.

Once a second home, CatCo now felt like an empty shell, void of all the people that made it worth it to show up at the office ready to change the world. She thought of Snapper, and how he had been more preoccupied with his morning coffee than with a missing girl, furrowed her brow in contempt. _This is who I have to look up to, now_.

She wondered what it would have been like if Cat had never left: would she be there on the stage herself instead of James, showering the captivated public with compliments and platitudes? Would Kara be standing around nervously, checking her watch every few minutes, obsessively calculating the odds that a certain someone would show up and relieve her restlessness?

All of her senses were on edge, attuned to the various clues that might announce _her_ presence at the event. The nagging feeling she got when she spotted a glimmer of blond hair in the crowd, the faint rustling of velvet drapes as somebody was ushered inside, feet scurrying by a side door, the sound of heels dampened by the thick carpet, and the deafening resonance of hundreds of heartbeats, all beating their own rhythm, and none of them _hers_.

Shaking and out of breath, Kara looked for the nearest exit, suddenly yearning for a splash of night air. In her lowest moments, she found it calming to gaze up at the stars; the dark sky dotted with lights spoke to her of infinite possibilities. The key to her own story and infinite others was hidden just a breath away, behind a closed door, up the stairs and to the right, a few steps further. She pressed down on the handle and swung the door open, breathing in the bracing cold, instantly refreshed.

Every step on the balcony was invigorating, and as she stood there, both hands on the metal railing, she looked up and closed her eyes, letting the tension recede, as she summoned the memory of the place she once called home.

What would it be like, Kara wondered, to remain forever in limbo, between knowing and not knowing? Would it be better or worse, than continuing down this path? Between the disappointment that no doubt awaited her, and the inscrutable realm of possibility, lay the temptation of postponing choice. As long as the evening was not over, there was still reason to hope.

Absorbed in her fantasy as she was, she didn’t notice anyone approaching until she felt a hand on the small of her back; its touch was gentle and lingering, and it could potentially last forever, at least until she found the strength to spin around, face the person responsible.

She thought she caught a whiff of Cat’s perfume, a scent she could pick out of a thousand others, and her breath choked in her throat, because as much as she had longed for Cat to be there, tonight, she was not at all prepared to face her. Not like this, on a dark balcony, alone.

“Kara How are- how have you been?” It took all of her supernatural might to move, to turn around and face Cat Grant, Queen of all Media, CEO of CatCo. _Her_. _Cat_.

Kara said nothing. She racked her brain searching for a way to speak of the emptiness, of the _lack of meaning_ there had been in the past months but had spent so much effort burying it all with ragged frenzy that the words felt alien, hollow.

“I missed you.” Cat said, after what seemed like a thousand years, and when Kara looked up from the floor she found a warm, loving smile, the one that caused Kara to burst into sudden tears whenever she thought of it. She was not crying now. She stood a little straighter, prouder, under that gaze.

“I thought leaving National City would be good for me, that it would revitalise me, make the creative energy flow once more.” Her resolve faltered a little, as Cat took a few steps forward and her hands travelled up to her neck, straightening the foulard she wore there, the casual brush of a finger on her pulse point causing her shivers all the way down to her toes. “I thought you were ready, that _I was ready_ , that if only I gave you space you would thrive. And yet. Look at us.” And Kara looked.

She looked and saw the worry, the guilt perhaps, layers and layers of questions hidden in the lines of her face. They stared at each other for a long moment, studying their respective expressions, until Kara’s vision blurred, tears welled up in her vision and she pulled Cat close, wrapped her in the tightest of hugs. “Oh Cat-” she managed to stammer, before being overrun by sobs, her chest heaving deep sighs and shaky breaths.

It took Kara several minutes to make it back to Earth, fully realise where she was, whose dress she was smudging with tears, whose hands were drawing circles on her shoulder blades, in an attempt to calm her down. Only then she had the presence of mind of easing her grip a little and take a step back, create some distance between them. Her hands yearned to go back to their proper place on Cat’s hips, pull her close once more, but she managed to restrain herself.

“What’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong!? I wasn’t ready! I wasn’t-” and the tears flew once more, spilling with such intensity that they barely touched her cheeks before hitting on the floor.

“I don’t know,” she sniffed loudly, eyes frantically searching for her purse, where she might find a handkerchief, “I thought that being a reporter would allow me to bring _truth and justice to this world_ , connect with people, at the very least push me out of my comfort zone… but with you gone… I’ve been out of my comfort zone for so long, and I guess… I just wasn’t ready to lose you too, I wasn’t ready for what the _grief_ would do to me” she dabbed at her nose and face, worrying suddenly about her makeup, how dishevelled she must look, _she must think I’m a mess,_ utterly unworthy of the attention she craved.

Cat raised her hands once more, loosening the knot at Kara’s throat, she wrapped her fingers around the two tails of the scarf, tugged at it, playful and a little desperate. “Oh, Kara…” she said, the sadness lowering the pitch of her voice to a ragged moan “I heard there was _a boy_ , I thought you were doing _just fine_ without me.”  Cat looped her fingers more, tightening the grip on the silk. They were close enough to feel each other’s breath. “Silly me to think that you’d call if you needed me.”

Kara’s heart pounded wildly in her chest, her face felt flushed and hot from crying, she had no clue what it felt like to be cold, but these tremors were terrifying, more so than talking down a gunman with a broken arm. “You know this is trouble, right?”

“Uh-huh” came the tiniest nod, the quiver of a lip, glossy eyes, expectant.

Closing the distance was easy, like having a drink when you know you shouldn’t. Taking a dive into a mountain lake, the promise of its icy depths causing shivers in waves, well before touching the surface.

Stepping from a cliff into the vertigo of a fall, a whirlwind of panic and giddy haze.

The kiss was like hitting the ground.

 


End file.
